A Scottish military officer strolls into an apothecary shop. From
the pouch hanging from his kilt he extracts a used condom and
places it upon the counter.

The apothecary says, "Hoot man, Wat be this yur'er thrustin'
befor me".

"T'is a used condom, sir, and I've come t' ask ye; hey much to
replace it and hey much to repair it?"

"Aye," replies the apothecary, as he examines the condom.
"T'would be six pence to replace it and thra' pence, heypenny to
repair it."

"Thank ye" says the Scottish military officer as he picks up the
used condom and puts it back into his pouch as he marches out
of the shop.

The next morning the military officer returns to the apothecary
shop. He reached onto his pouch, pulls out the used condom and
tosses it onto the counter.

"The regiment has voted to repair it," he says.